Brett Mix’s- “Jake Roberts: Pick Your Poison” Disc 2 Review:
“You know you’re in trouble when you hear about dying, you hear about Curt, Bossman, Hawk and you curse God, saying…why can’t that be me? That IS insanity my friends.”
Disc 2 Matches:
4) Jake “The Snake” and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat vs Jim Nelson and Mike Miller – Mid-Atlantic 9/9/81
Another match against the Dragon is nice to see, especially in the Small Venue in Mid-Atlantic from the early days.
The more Steamboat the better, I really enjoyed his long over-due set. I’ll never understand Ric Flair getting 6 discs, (8 including the Horsemen set) essentially on him before Ricky Steamboat, Randy Savage, Ted DiBiase and Bob Backlund getting one
Anyways the bell rings….
Ricky Steamboat starts out trying to get the power advantage and hits a dropkick after a leapfrog, torks the arm and in comes Jake.
Jake Robterts shot off the ropes leaps over his manand slams him before hitting a running knee shot to the head. Roberts holds a full nelson before a snapmare.
Fast paced match, frequent tags from Steamboat and Jake.
In the end at 6:15 Jake hit a side suplex for the win.
This match was kept short so it wasn’t as good as it could of been obviously, it came off good still due to a lot of quality in the time given.
Very enjoyable for the Mid-Atlantic small venue setting, you just have to be in the mood. Like watching a Hitchcock movie…
5) Jake “The Snake” Roberts (c) (with Precious Paul Ellering) vs Ronnie Garvin for the World Television Championship match -Georgia Championship 12/3/83
Garvin one of the more underrated talents in the 80’s and he locks up against Jake here.
Fifteen minute time limit here.
Jake Roberts and Garvin lock up, a side headlock takedown by Roberts.
Back up both men tie up once more. Fans chanting for Jake. Roberts breaks off but the Snake caught him with a high shot.
The Snake rolls out of the ring for some words of encouragment from Precious Paul Ellering. Another tieup and Garvin gets him in a front facelock.
Some good technical showdown’s thus far.
Garvin took Jake to the mat and tried to wearhim down throughout the first half of the match in a basic front facelock. Jake the Snake Roberts powers out eventually backing him to the turnbuckle.
The Snake gaining leverage but neither man REALLY going for it. Roberts drove his shoulder into Garvin and he struck the steel. Garvin tried to take Jake down but Roberts struck back with a series of blows.
Garvin fired away and Jake is in trouble, has his back raked. Jake reversed the atomic knee drop. Garvin drops a knee on Roberts.
In the end at 15:00 the time limit expired as it ends in a draw.
This match has an extremely slow pace but some fine technical work is shown.s
The brother of Randy Savage aka Randy Poffo, “Leaping” Lanny Poffo before his days as The Genius taking on the Snake here.
Lanny Poffo taking on Jake in his MSG Federation debut and holds onto the ropes but catches a dropkick by the future Genius.
Jake slithered out of the ring for a walk. As Monsoon says he slithers back in. Jake gets caught in an armbar and Poffo rides him on the mat while Jake goes after the bag.
Inverted backbreaker and then a knee to the abdomen from Jake. Roberts hits a snapmare into a headlock, Poffo counters into a hammerlock and then off the ropes hit the Snake after a high boot
In the end at 9:26 Jake wins with a ddt.
This match is pretty basic, it was essential to put over the Snake on Leaping Lanny.
7) Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs Earthquake (with Jimmy Hart) -WWF Superstars” 4/27/91
The late John Tenta before dressing up as Cartman as Golga squashed the Snake’s friend and certain fans favourite prop.
Randy Savage and Vince McMahon do commentary, aren’t they the best of friends.
Oh, the Hot Rod is there as well.
Earthquake in the ringand Jake comes out meaning business.
Earthquake attacks Roberts early but fights back and lets Damien loose.
A lot of thing going on but wrestling and the bell rings 4 and a half minutes in.
Jake all caught up in the ropes and Earthquake bombs Damien.
And that’s that.
-Jake “The Snake” Roberts has a Snake bite Macho Man Randy Savage
In one of the greatest feuds in history a Snake bit Savage here in a segment lasting over eight minutes in length. Terrifying, credit to the Macho Man proving once more why he indeed the true meaning of Macho and that cannot be denied.
This is very memorable.
8 ) Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs Sting in a Coal Miner’s Glove Match WCW -Halloween Havoc
Jim Ross calls the action.
Sting and Roberts, this should be good.
The bell rings and Jake Roberts gets slammed.
A standing side headlock on Sting who off the ropes held onto the ropes for leverage. Jake drives his knee into Sting’s back.
Jake throws Sting over the top rope to the floor, Sting changes it up shoving Jake into the steel.
Jake’s arm is worked over by Sting ramming it into the post. A logical move to prevent the ddt. Sting climbs the pole but Roberts brings him dovn hitting a belly to back suplex but he still sells the shoulder falling down.
Sting gets on top and slaps an arm-ringer on Jake.
Sting drove the knee into his back until Roberts used the ropes go get up and take it to Sting. A running kneelift to Sting. Sting misses the Stinger Splash in the corner.
Roberts with an arm-ringer and hits a clothesline on Sting.
Jake signalled for the ddt. He hits it but he hurt his left arm in the process still selling it.
Jake climbed but Sting caught him. Jake elbowed him away, Sting rides the poll and elbows Roberts.
Cactus Jack hands the Snake something but Sting has got the glove. Jake has a cobra.
The snake bites Jake while Sting covers him.
Jake Roberts so good at in-ring psychology matched up against the quick Stinger very well.
In the end at 11:53 Sting went over and Ross really put over how the cobra is biting Jake in the face.
This match here definitely had the potential to be more then what it was but in saying that, it’s still watchable.
Here is a gem.
The bell goes and from Cornette’s promotion in Smoky Mountain wrestling Jake Roberts locks up against the Dirty White Boy. Or who you’d later know as TL Hopper. Is there anyone in wrestling or life that have had two gimmicks this bad. Incredible.
Jake Roberts a master of psychology wanted to target the eye that is patched up by the Dirty white boy.
Jake covers his eye and backs away to taunt his opponent. Jake slaps on an arm-ringer and then threw whitey to the mat. Jake Roberts holds a headlock and Dwb turns it into a wristlock but Jake slams him back down to the mat. Jake taunts him again with a headlock. Jake continues to taunt.
A test of strength and Jake is pulled down and Roberts cornered him repeatedly and gave him a slap
Jake keeps covering his eye and circles around him. A tie-up and ROberts backs off but a good right by Dirty white boy. Roberts rolls out and he falls to the floor.
Back in the ring an armbar on Jake and the Dirty white boy held a hammerlock into an armbar.
Off the chain-wrestling into a shoulder block back into an armbar. The whiteboy drove his knee into the back of Jake, Jake tried to get to the eye, any resourceful move he sees fit. Jake Roberts hit a shoulder block and out goes the Dwb to the floor.
Jake gets a bit of a rest. All of the sudden a masked man who originally blinded the dirty white boy comes out and takes off his patch. Jake Roberts in full control levelled the DWB in the eye.
Roberts unloads a big right. Dirty Boy had enough of Roberts eyeshots and dropped the Snake and then an elbow.
In the end at 14:31 Jake came out of no where and hit the ddt on the whiteboy that had one good eye.
This match is tremendous because of Jake’s psychology. It’s scary good. Always thinking…
10) Stone Cold Steve Austin vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts -King of the Ring 1996
Jake “The Snake” Roberts all bruised comes out holding onto his injured ribs.
Austin comes out with a bloody mouth and some fans in attendance are giving him a great ovation still and the bell rings, this final is underway.
An awesome staredown between Austin and Pillman in the entrance way. Pillman had just cut a great promo and Stone Cold poses for the fans.
Jake Roberts is continually ripped on by Owen Hart who was hilarious all night long on commentary for this PPV.
Jake Roberts dragged a Snake as he couldn’t carry it due to the injured ribs.
Austin attacked Jake in relentless fashion and he stomped on the ribs.
Stone Cold drove his knees into his ribs over and over as Austin taunted him more and more venting his anger.
Austin slapped him in the face. Austin called him pathetic as he kicked at Roberts and then Jake fights back from the corner with a couple of icks and an uppercut. Austin gets up and fires back, Roberts is kicked back down.
Any time Jake Roberts would hit offense it would hurt himself which only helped Austin. Stone Cold ripped off the tape surrounding Jake’s ribs.
Gorilla Monsoon came into the ring as the fans booed at Austin attacking the ribs of Jake.
Jake tells Monsoon he doesen’t want to stop and he attacks Austin with a series of right’s. Jake Roberts signalled for the ddt. Jake is driven into the corner by Austin into the broken ribs. Austin tackles him over and over in the corner. Austin again poses on the top rope.
Austin drives his elbow into Jake Roberts and picks him up. Jake Roberts is hit with the Stone Cold Stunner.
In the end at 4:28 Austin pinned Roberts after a Stone Cold Stunner to become King of the Ring.
This match works fine for its historical significance.
It’s also quite amusing seeing a Heel Steve Austin methodically disect an injured old man’s ribs over and over.
But it`s what took place after the match that launched a marketing juggernaut and changed the company’s soon to be “biggest draw of all time’s” career forever.
“The first thing I want to be done….is to get that piece of CRAP out of my RING. Don’t just get him out of the ring, get him out of the WWF. Because I’ve proved SON, without a shadow of a doubt, you aint got what it takes anymore! You sit there and you thump your bible and you say your prayers and it didn’t get you anywhere! Talk about your Psalms, talk about John 3:16,….Austin 3:16 says I just whooped your ass! All he’s gotta do is go buy him a cheap bottle of Thunderbird and try to dig back some of that courage he had in his prime! As the KING OF THE RING, I’m serving notice to everyone of the WWF SUPERSTARS, I don’t give a damn what they are, they’re all on the list and that’s Stone Cold’s list and I’m fixing to start running through all of them! As far as this Championship match is considered Son, I don’t give a damn if it’s Davey Boy Smith or Shawn Michaels…Steve Austin’s time has come, and you’re lookin at the next WWF Champion, and that’s the Bottom Line, Cause Stone Cold said so!” –Stone Cold Steve Austin
11) Jerry “The King Lawler” vs Jake “The Snake” Roberts -Summerslam 1996
The Pre-Match promo and Mark Henry stuff took more time then the actual match.
Austin had just told Jake he didn’t have what it takes anymore at The King of the Ring and Roberts went into a Summer of 1996 type of Funk and got down on himself.
The Alcohol problems were blown up into a storyline and Jake Roberts discusses how he didn’t appreciate this angle on his DVD.
What better, or WHO BETTER I should say to make fun of a REAL problem then the always annoying (back then but in a good way) HEEL Jerry “The King” Lawler.
Mark Henry who was an Olympian at that Summer’s Olympics came out for commentary with Mr. Perfect, Jim Ross and Vince McMahon.
The King came down to the ring with a bag that looked like a Snake and King’s face was hilarious.
Jake Robert’s then came out with a bag of his own.
After some hilarious commentary by King, he says “If Jake DOESEN’T take out what is in HIS BAG he will take out what is in his!”
What Lawler had in the bag was the biggest bottle of alcohol known to man.
Roberts didn’t take to this well quite obviously.
Mark Henry also got his shots from Lawler about how he had no medals and if he did it’d be bronze or something to that extent.
Mr. Perfect was hillarious when saying “He’s probably got a HANG OVER!” when McMahon said Jake was in a foul mood.
Anyway, Jake Roberts put the Snake on the King as expected and that got a pretty good pop. The King also hid under the ring for about a half an hour in the 1996 Royal Rumble because he was scared of snakes.
The fans chanted Burger King while Lawler made his way towards ringside after The Snake was put back in the bag.
Jake Roberts gave Lawler a series of shots on the outside and on the inside until Lawler went to the outside and began to choke Jake out. Lawler poured alcohol into Jake’s face while he was tied up into the ropes.
Jake the Snake went for the DDT but Lawler grabbed onto Harvey Wippleman who was an official. Jake Roberts then got a bottle to the throat and Ross says it’s criminal, and Perfect says…”It’s Okay! He’ll buy him a drink later!”
At 4:07 the finish came when Lawler grabbed the tights for the win after the bottle shot.
Lawler says that Jake’s throat is dry and he needs a drink and Mark Henry then chased
Lawler to the pack since his family was present.
Funny but Roberts didn’t like this stuff so that takes the humor down a notch for me.
1/4* for the comedy.
1/4* for the wrestling. (being generous on THAT one)
-This showed Jake appear in Ecw to a loud pop and he handles business like only the Snake can.
12) Jake “The Snake” Roberts and Tommy Dreamer vs Justin Credible and Jack Victory -November 2 Remember, 11/1/98
Jake Roberts and Dreamer go right to work on Victory and Credible on the entrance ramp.
Carnage and Chaos all over the place as all four go at it at once.
A double backdrop to the floor by Jake Roberts.
A suicide dive by Dreamer to the floor.
Back in the ring Dremer off the ropes gets tripped but he hits a baseball slide to Victory on the outside. Credible kicks dreamer out.
Jake hit an inverted atomic drop to Credlble.
Now that the official gets in control Credible and Victory make frequent tags to Dreamer.
Tommy needed a hot tag in a bad way but regains the momentum driving the leg into the ring post.
Credible and Dreamer remain in the ring. Dreamer picksss up Credible and hits a Dreamer Driver. Finally a slow crawler in Dreamer tried to make a tag to Jake.
Roberts finally comes in and shoots out jabs.
Fans chant for the ddt.
Jake and Dreamer hit clothesline’s and signal for the ddt.
Soon weapons galore and others fill the ring, New Jack and company.
Says enough right there.
All hell is breaking loose screams Styles. One man Gang takes out Kronis.
New Jack comes out with a diving chairshot to the One man Gang.
Finally Dreamer back in hitting a frogsplash and a nearfall, before piledriving a valet.
Jake hit Nicole Bass in the “nuts” and a ddt. Credible grabbed a weapon and lowblowed Jake.
Dreamer clubbed a bloody Jack Victory.
A top rope rocket launcher to Credible from Dreamer. DDT on the ladder, Jake covered Credible and he got him.
In the end at 13:30 Jake and Tommy win.
This was all over the place and not the type of action I usually enjoy but it had its moments.
Interviews and Promos:
Jake is one of the best promo guys in history. See exactly why here!
– Vince McMahon interviews Jake “The Snake” Roberts, 3:47, TNT 3/14/86
– “Ravishing” Rick Rude hits on Cheryl Roberts, 7:30, Superstars 4/23/86
– Brother Love interviews Jake & Cheryl Roberts, 3:55, Wrestling Challenge, 7/23/88
– Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Jake,2:00, Wrestling Challenge, 1/27/90
– Promo about threatening Ted DiBiase with snakes, 1:21, Superstars, 3/3/90
– Fights with Brother Love and Rick Martel during an interview, 6:32, Superstars, 10/27/90
– Interview w/ Brutus Beefcake On the Barber Shop, 3:56, Wrestling Challenge, 5/11/91
– Ultimate Warrior Casket Vignette (All the Warrior segments are hilarious. “Snake Man!”), 4:10, Superstars 8/3/91
– Ultimate Warrior Cemetery Vignette, 4:00, Superstars 8/10/91
– Ultimate Warrior Snake Filled Room Vignette, 4:52, Superstars 8/17/91
– Mean Gene Okerlund interviews Jake, Superstars, 2:38, 3/14/92s
There are also the Snake Pit Segments
– w/ Kamala, The Wizard, and Kimchee, 1:54, Wrestling Challenge 9/6/86
– w/ Junkyard Dog, 2:14, Wrestling Challenge, 10/18/86
– w/ Hulk Hogan, 1:58, Wrestling Challenge, 11/22/86
Final Rating for Jake Roberts: “Pick Your Poison” = 8/10
This set is not for everybody if you find disturbing stories a little hard to take. However if you’re a long time fan or just a fan of the Snake in general, I’d definitely suggest picking this one up. This is one set that doesen’t dissapoint. An interesting life-story to tell and a great legacy left behind for a Future Hall of Famer.